he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
how does that bad decision feel?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
