Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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