Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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