yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
