I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
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