May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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