you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Randomize
