Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
