watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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