Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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