girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
