i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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