Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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