Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
