3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Randomize
