Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
