420 ftw
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
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