do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
