u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I smell stomach acid.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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