Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
