Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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