he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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