I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
