So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
