and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
