Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
