we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
