I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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