Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
