I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
