Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
