to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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