Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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