How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
