Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
