I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
