No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
