That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
