I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
