You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
