i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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