I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
