i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
