No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
