proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
