It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
