All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
