sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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