Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
