FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
