Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
