I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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