Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize