I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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