I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
